Diann Murphy

My mother-in-law Diann Murphy passed away two weeks ago on November 1st at about 8:15 am. We were so blessed to be able to be with her - except for her oldest daughter and middle son who have chosen to live in another state, all of her children and her grandchild were there at her side when she passed - which I believe is how she wanted things... It was heart-breaking. I never knew anything could be that heart-breaking. I still can't comprehend the myriad of feelings that I experienced that day. I watched the woman who gave my husband life take her very last breath - watching her die felt wrong and awful at the same time that it felt compassionate and intimate and loving.

She was only in her early 50's and fought a very courageous and difficult battle with Renal cell carcinoma...

I am thankful that she and I made our peace - things were not always a bed of roses (are they ever with in-laws?) but we did become friends and she was a wonderful grandmother. My daughter loved Diann with every fiber of her tiny little 4-year-old heart - and she misses her so very passionately.

In so many ways I was blessed to know her - without her I would not be married to such a wonderful husband... I would not have my amazing daughter - my life would not be here and now...

It is difficult to be the family that is left behind but it is comforting to know that she is no longer suffering and she is no longer in pain...

The photo above was taken this past summer when Diann was still in fairly decent health my daughter Grace is the youngest in the photo and the other girl in the photo is diann's daughter (my sister-in-law) Rebekah...

Diann is finally at peace.

Christmas

The word that sends chills down my spine, shoots ribbons of dread through every fiber of my being. It's nearly a 4 letter word in my house.

Store bought gifts simply don't convey to my friends and family how much I love them - killing myself while knitting a sweater for every person I've ever known... now that's love!

I think I may have settled on socks this year as the gift of choice - finishing up the *sweater from hell* for my sweater-deserving husband (last years christmas gift!) and hoping for the best...

There are only a handful of people I feel compelled to knit for - my mother being at the top of the list. I think I am going to try to dye my own self-striping yarn in her favorite color to knit her a pair of socks...

The rest on the list will probably end up with plain old store bought yarn socks (fun colors/patterns of course) but I want to do something special for mom...

So how come I can't get into the Christmas gift making spirit?

On another note - Amy's sweater has one completed sleeve and another one has been started... it' might be ready for blocking by next weekend!

Amy's sweater is actually starting to resemble a sweater!

I joined a Wednesday morning knitting group. It has turned out to be the neatest group of women. I was invited by the wife of my husband's former boss. (fingers crossed that nobody actually reads this silly little blog) She is one of those women that I always admired... she is an amazing mom (with awesome daughters!), a really great wife, she's beautiful, always kind, charming, and just an all around really great person - and I remember always thinking that I wanted to "grow up" and be a woman like that...

Well, when Grace was born, this person gave us the most adorable little knit hat. A very simple baby cap - with the rolled brim - grey with a white stripe - and it turned out to be THE most loved and worn piece of clothing Grace had... Grace was born a bit early and was *small* and this little cap fit her head... and as her head grew, the cap streched to fit her growing head... and she loved the hat so much that she continued to stuff her little head into it until it just would NOT go in there any more... and now, 4 years later, it is the most well loved baby doll hat to the beloved Marisol American girl doll :) So, it is because of this charming woman, and this lovely hat, that I decided to learn how to knit... And she asked me to join her at this really neat Wednesday morning knitting group - I'm just so thrilled...

There is one other woman I know there - she is an old family friend - I grew up with her children - and it's really neat to have a social connection with her as well. The great thing though is that I have actually gotten some real (for me anyway) knitting done.

Amy's sweater has a completed back and two front pieces... I've started on the sleeve and am 1/4 of the way done.... Before last week, I had been working on the back piece for 2 months - isn't it amazing what 1 1/2 hours of uninterupted time can do.

Anyhow - knitting in a lovely little coffee shop down by the water - it's perfect. I am sad I have to leave a 1/2 hour early to pick up my daughter - but I suppose we all have to make sacrifices :)

Perhaps next week I'll have a picture of the finished Amy :)

I want to knit this so badly it hurts!

I am SO in love with the simplicity of this cardigan... Not the color mind you - but I just love the cables at the bottom and the cuffs... I saw the pattern and wanted immediately to dive into my stash and cast on and forget everything that needs to be done around here (not an easy task since there is A LOT to be done!)

There seem to be so many problems with this plan though...

1. I don't have the *right* yarn - I really love the hyacinth color from knitpicks Andean Silk, but can I really justify buying more yarn when I have so much already?

2. I have 2 projects I'm *working* on (1/2 heartedly I'll admit) and a sweater that I need to bring out now that it's turning cold again... The baby sweater for amy is coming along well - though I do feel like I'm the slowest knitter known to man - Grace's 2nd pair of socks is progressing in a forward moving fashion again as well...

3. I feel badly knitting for myself - it feels so, selfish. I've only ever knit myself a pair of felted slippers - I love them... so much in fact that I've worn two holes in the bottom of one of them and they are in desperate need of repair - but if feels like purchasing yarn and carving out enough time to knit an actual sweater for ME would be so incredibly selfish...

am I just mental?

It's such a cool sweater - and I imagine it wouldn't be that hard (says she who takes a month to make a sock!)